How to Ask a Boy to Dance With You at a Middle School Dance

Middle school dances are fun and give you a chance to be social with your classmates. For some people, being social and outgoing comes naturally, but for others, the challenge of asking a boy to dance can be stressful. Luckily, if you take the right approach, dancing with the guy of your dreams can become a reality.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Getting His Attention

1
Wear something that catches his eye. If you know what he likes already, you might have an idea of what he finds attractive, and you should wear something that matches his taste. If you don't know him personally, wear something that stands out from other people at the dance.
- Ask your friends for advice on your outfit.
- Wear something modest but cute. You don't want to give him the wrong impression, but you still want to attract him.^{[1]XResearch source}
- Don't go to the dance wearing something that makes you feel uncomfortable. If you feel uncomfortable, it'll reflect in your attitude and lower your confidence.^{[2]XResearch source}
2
Make eye contact with him across the dance-floor and smile. Locking eyes with someone lets them know that you're interested in them, which in turn, raises their interest in you.^{[3]XResearch source} Making eye contact before you approach him will clue him into the fact that you're interested. Smile if he looks back, so he knows that you like him.
- If he looks down when you lock eyes but continually looks back into your direction, it may mean he's interested in you.
- If he smiles back and keeps looking at you, it's a sign that he likes you back.
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3
Dance with your friends to get rid of nerves. Dancing with your friends is a great way to loosen up and get used to the thought of dancing in front of your classmates. Form a circle and dance with each other. Keep making occasional eye contact with the boy you're interested in and maintain a smile.
- Read Learn-to-Dance if you don't know how to dance.
- Dancing can improve your self-confidence and reduces anxiety.^{[4]XResearch source}
4
Tell his friends that you want to dance with him. If you're nervous about approaching him and asking him to dance, then another strategy you can use is to talk to his friends and tell them that you're interested. He may end up approaching you if he gets this information from a buddy.
- If he is shy, there's a chance he will want to approach you but may be too nervous to do it.
- His friends may not tell him that you want to dance, so prepare to do the work yourself if all else fails.
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Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Asking Him to Dance

Think about what kind of song you want to dance to. Do you want to dance to something more energetic and fun or do you want to slow things down and get romantic? If you like the boy, pick a slow song. If you just want to be friends, pick something more energetic.
2
Walk up to him with confidence.^{[5]XExpert SourceImad Jbara
Dating CoachExpert Interview. 5 November 2019.} There are ways you can appear more confident with how you act. Standing up straight and maintaining eye contact with him will make you look more confident than if you were to look down at the ground or slouch.
- Approach him when he's alone so that his decision isn't affected by the people around him.
- Walk up to him when you feel comfortable, but don't wait too long, or you may miss your opportunity.
3
Say "hi" and ask him how he's doing. Before you ask him to dance, see how he reacts to talking. If he's excited to talk to you and seems enthusiastic, it's a good sign that he likes you back. If his feet are pointed away, he rubs his neck or face, or he looks uncomfortable, he may not want to dance.^{[6]XResearch source}
- If he ignores you and walks away to talk to his friends, it's a sign he isn't interested.^{[7]XExpert SourceImad Jbara
  Dating CoachExpert Interview. 5 November 2019.}
- Just because he doesn't say a lot doesn't mean he's not interested in you. He may just be nervous.
4
Ask him to dance with you. Once you talk to him about how he is, ask him to dance with confidence. You can ask him to dance by saying "Hey, do you want to dance with me for the next song?" Wait for his response and if he says yes, take his hand and go to the dancefloor.
- He may be too nervous to dance. If he doesn't want to dance, then sit down next to him and talk to him.
- If he says no, try not to get too upset. Go back to your friends and try to enjoy the rest of your night and dance with them.
5
Leave your fear behind and just go for it. You may feel nervous approaching the boy you like, but sometimes the best thing to do is just to go for it.^{[8]XResearch source} The worst thing that could happen is the boy says no, and it hurts your feelings. Understand that even if he doesn't like you, it doesn't mean that you aren't attractive or likable. It just means that you weren't meant for one another.^{[9]XExpert SourceImad Jbara
Dating CoachExpert Interview. 5 November 2019.}
- If you let your fear and anxiety win, then you'll never know if he wanted to dance with you.
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Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Dancing With Him

1
Hold his hands or put your arms around his back. Holding his hands or putting your arms around his back or shoulders will help you move as one. Try to move with him and avoid stepping on his feet. He may be new to dancing as well, so adjust his hands and arms if they are slipping too low on your waist.
- For slow songs, put your arms around his back or shoulders.
- If things feel awkward or tense, you can always back off and dance by yourself in front of him.
2
Talk to him while dancing to reduce awkwardness. You don't have to talk while you dance, and you probably shouldn't for slow songs. However, if you feel awkward during other songs, a good way to relieve tension is to talk to the guy you're dancing with.
- You can ask him how his day went or how he feels about a certain class.
- Avoid talking badly about other people if you don't know him well. He may be friends with the people you are talking about and could get upset.
3
Get his contact information after the dance. If you like the guy that you danced with and want to talk to him after the dance, make sure to get his contact information. Ask him for his phone number, or the usernames for social media accounts. If he danced with you all night, there's a good chance that he will want to stay in contact with you.
- You can say, "Hey, I really liked dancing with you. Do you want to talk later? Do you have a cell-phone or a Tumblr account?"
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Question
How can I ask a boy to dance with me?
Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.
Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Expert Answer
While it can be nerve-wracking, just approach them confidently and ask them. If they say no, don't take it too hard and just remember to have fun.
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Question
My crush asked me to the dance and I said yes! How do I ask him for his number so we can text?
Community Answer
Just walk up to him and say, "Hey, since we're going to the dance, can I have your number so we can text about plans?"
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Question
How do I ask a boy to dance with me if he is already a friend?
Community Answer
If he’s already a friend, dance with him for an energetic song. When a slow dance comes on, keep dancing with him. Being friends with him should make it easier.
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