How to Divorce a Wife Who Left the State

You can divorce your wife even after she leaves a U.S. state, but you’ll need to do some additional legwork. If you don’t know your wife’s current address, you’ll need to search for her, carefully documenting every place you look. When it comes time to file, you can complete the required paperwork and file it with the court. You’ll then need to arrange for a copy to be served on your wife. If you have no idea where she went, you can serve notice by publishing in a newspaper.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Locating Your Wife

When you file divorce papers, you’ll need to serve a copy on your wife. Typically, you’ll need to make personal service on her or mail the papers to her address. In any event, you need to know where she currently lives.
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Check how long she has lived in her new home. Generally, you can get divorced in either state. However, some states won’t grant a divorce unless you have lived in the state for a certain amount of time.^{[1]XResearch source} For example, in Arkansas, you must be a resident for at least 60 days. In South Carolina, however, you must be a resident for a year.^{[2]XResearch source}
- You probably want to file for divorce in your own state. However, you might not have lived there long enough. In that situation, you need to confirm your wife has lived long enough in her new state so that you can file for divorce there.
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3
Perform a thorough search if she’s missing. You might not know where she’s moved to. You can still get divorced, but you must convince a judge you have performed a thorough search for her. Do the following:^{[3]XResearch source}
- Talk to her family and friends. Ask where she has gone to and if they have a phone number or mailing address.
- Contact government agencies. Check with the Division of Motor Vehicles, the Post Office, and the Voter Registration office.
- Search the Internet. For $15 or so you can have a background check performed.
- Search whether your wife is in the military. You can verify military service at https://www.dfas.mil/garnishment/verifyservice.html. You will need your wife’s Social Security Number.
- Hire a private investigator, if necessary. You must perform a thorough search.
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Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Filing for Divorce

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Decide which state to file in. Typically, it is far more convenient to file for divorce in your home state. For this reason, you should file first. Divorce usually requires many hearings, and there’s no need to travel to a different state if you can help it.^{[4]XResearch source}
- The only reason to file where your wife lives is if you haven’t lived long enough in your home state.
2
Complete the paperwork. Most courts have divorce packets you can fill out. You can find them on the court’s website or by stopping in and asking the court clerk. Also check with local legal aid organizations, which sometimes create forms. Generally, you’ll need to complete a divorce petition or complaint, as well as financial affidavits.^{[5]XResearch source}
- In your petition, you need to allege a reason for the divorce.
- All states allow no-fault divorce, which means you don’t give a specific reason such as adultery. However, some states may require you to file for separation and remain separated for a certain amount of time before you can file for a no-fault divorce. You may be able to waive the separation period if you both agree to the divorce, have no minor children, and sign a written agreement that addresses support and property allocation.
3
Consult with a lawyer. You can get divorced without a lawyer, but you might have questions about the process. A licensed attorney can provide the necessary answers. They can also handle anything you can’t do on your own.
- Find a qualified divorce attorney by contacting your local or state bar association. Ask for a referral.
- Lawyers are licensed by state. If you decide to file for divorce in your wife’s state, you should hire a lawyer who is licensed in that state.
4
File your papers with the court. Make several copies, and take the original and copies to the court clerk. File the original and ask the clerk to stamp your copies. You’ll need to pay a filing fee, but ask for a fee waiver if you can't afford it.
- If you’re filing in a different state, call the court clerk and check how to file. You might be able to mail your paperwork to the clerk. Include your check or money order to pay the filing fee.^{[6]XResearch source}
5
Serve notice on your wife. You’ll need to send her copies of whatever you file, along with a summons, which you can get from the court clerk. You might also need to send your wife blank forms for her to fill out. Generally, you can serve papers on your wife in a few ways (which depend on the court):
- You can have someone 18 or older who isn’t a party to the case make hand delivery. For example, you can have a neighbor walk it over to your wife’s house and hand it to her. You might also pay a private process server to make delivery.
- In some states, you can also make service by certified mail, return receipt requested.^{[7]XResearch source}
6
Talk to the clerk if you can’t find your wife. In this situation, you’ll need to make service by publication in a newspaper. However, you first need the judge’s permission. You’ll probably have to submit a short motion explaining in detail your search efforts.^{[8]XResearch source}
- If the judge approves service by publication, you usually must run an ad in a newspaper. Check with the court to find appropriate newspapers. You’ll need to pay to have the ad run.
- The ad might need to run for several consecutive weeks. The newspaper should submit an affidavit to the court confirming that the ad has run for the necessary amount of time.
- You can also get permission from the court to post a notice in the courthouse, known as a Motion to Serve by Publication or Posting.
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Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Going to Court

Your wife can respond to your divorce petition by filing an answer.^{[9]XResearch source} If she agrees with everything, you might be able to avoid a court hearing. However, if she disagrees with something (such as alimony), then you’ll need to schedule a court hearing.
2
Ask for a default divorce, if necessary. Your wife might ignore your petition and not respond before the deadline. In this situation, you can ask the court to give you default divorce.^{[10]XResearch source}
- A default divorce might not resolve all issues. For example, the judge probably can’t divide marital property unless that property is inside the state.
- In some situations, your wife can ask the court to set aside the default, especially if she had a good reason for not responding in time.
3
Start negotiating before your divorce hearing. Have settlement documents drafted up and work on resolving any disagreements over the divorce with your wife before you go in front of a judge. It's easier if you start this beforehand as opposed to waiting until you attend your hearing.
4
Prepare for your divorce hearing. A contested divorce hearing can be as complicated as any trial. A lot of the preparation will depend on what is in dispute between you and your wife. Consider the following:
- Child custody. If you’re fighting over children, then the judge will make all decisions based on the best interests of the children. This means the judge will look to a variety of factors, such as how much contact you have with the children, whether your life is stable, and your physical and mental health. You’ll need witnesses who can put you in a favorable light.
- Child support. States have a mathematical formula, so there probably won’t be a lot of dispute. However, you’ll need to present proof of exceptional circumstances if you think you should get more than the amount set by the formula. For example, your child might be disabled, so get medical records.
- Alimony and division of property. The spouse asking for alimony will need to show why they need it.
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Is there a statute of limitations for appealing a divorce if you were delayed because of premeditated actions of a spouse?
Lahaina Araneta, JD
Attorney at Law
Lahaina Araneta, Esq. is an Immigration Attorney for Orange County, California with over 6 years of experience. She received her JD from Loyola Law School in 2012. In law school, she participated in the immigrant justice practicum and served as a volunteer with several nonprofit agencies.
Lahaina Araneta, JD
Attorney at Law
Expert Answer
A divorce decree is a judgment, therefore, it is not a claim subject to any statute of limitations. You are obligated to pay whatever the domestic court ordered (if anything).
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If your wife has left the country, you can still get a divorce. Depending on where she lives, you can serve your divorce papers by sending them to a central authority or by forwarding them to the U.S. consulate in her home country.
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